Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
