Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
