he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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