Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
