Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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