my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
