Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
