i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
