we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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