I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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