you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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