I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
