If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize