Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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