I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
