Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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