Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
