I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
