it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
