this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
