If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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