Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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