Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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