Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
