shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
