Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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