You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
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