Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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