I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
babies were throwing up all over the place
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
