You can't motorboat a personality
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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