Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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