Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I have fence marks all over my body
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
