I showed him my bush... on skype.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize