Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Your cock deserves a montage
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
