dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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