jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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