Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
