I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize