Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
