How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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