Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize