Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
