I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
