I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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