just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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