Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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