If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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