Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
