do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
