O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
