i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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