dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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