I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
