so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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