i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
