That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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